the award goes to . . .
This month's random fact friday theme on childhood facts brings me back again to fifth grade and awards time. When passing out our end of the year awards, believe it or not, I took home the certificate for “the quietest student” in my class.
For you guys who have known me for any considerable length of time, I'm guessing this comes as a surprise . . . as I'm rarely ever at a loss for making conversation or chiming in with thoughts. And that's because I really enjoy conversation and exchanging ideas. I always have.
And when I think back about winning this award, and even back then as a child, I remember wondering why it was that I was so quiet at school, but so not quiet in other places, like home or church. I'm sure on one hand, I wanted to be a good student and not get in trouble. But aside from that, I really was shy in school . . . and that bothered me, because I really wasn't all that shy in most any other place. I remember moving on to middle school, trying purposefully to be more "me" at school. I so wanted to be more myself . . . it was just a little hard to do sometimes.
what i've observed
Having learned more over time and taking in factors I wouldn't have known to consider then, here's what I think . . . I think we all have varying insecurities, and we all handle them in different ways. For me, and speaking just for me, my natural reaction to feeling insecure at school was to clam up. And what was I so insecure about?? Well, I think it was all surface stuff. Even though I made good grades and was creative, I wasn't as skinny as the other girls, didn't think I was as pretty, and didn't really have money for the nice/branded clothes--classic insecurities that girls in particular, often face.
It took me a while to realize that none of those surface things really matter. It's just really hard to know how to put that in perspective, especially as a kid and then as a teen. And to be honest, I'm still visited by these insecurities at times as an adult, and I notice I can sometimes shy away when they come knocking.
but . . .
Now I've come to believe that we're all a lot more alike than we may often realize. Personally, I don't think there's anyone who has it all completely together. We all have the imperfections of "life" to deal with (which is kinda freeing in a way, right?!) So in light of that, I just try to relax and be me when I'm tempted to feel less. And I try to practice not comparing myself to others (which can be really hard to do--but is not impossible!) :)
this week's question
So my main question for you this week is . . . did you receive any kind of school awards? Maybe from a teacher or from your peers? And for your own reflection, what did it say about you then—was it accurate? Is it still accurate today? Why/why not?
And hey, if your school didn't do class-wide awards, let's pretend they did (I mean, ultimately, this site is all about creativity and ideas, right?) Pick a year, maybe fifth grade too, and award yourself what you think you would have received then. Just for fun.
Here's this week's PDF you can type into and save and/or print. And I'd love for you to leave a comment below on what your award was, if you're inclined to share here.
And the bonus to the "life about life" initiative I mentioned last week . . . try to ask at least one other person this “awards” question this week and see what you learn!