right on time — a love story

Some would call me a sentimental kind of girl, and I wouldn't argue with that description :) While not a hoarder in the sense of needing a television intervention, I do hoard memories: cards, invitations, photos, movie stubs, special dinner receipts, arm bands from events, and so on — currently they sit in a jar for the year, but let me tell you, I started with (and still have) a few shoe boxes of memories that go back to ninth grade!!

One such ninth grade treasure is this little bridal gem that always makes me both laugh and shake my head when I see it. This magazine memory was torn and tucked securely away in my little puff paints decorated Keds box (below), waiting for the day I'd go wedding dress shopping and find one just like it . . . 

Over 25 years ago (wow!), I pulled this page and tucked it securely away for safe keeping and dreaming. By the way, when I googled it, I saw it was the third image result when I typed in "Demetrios wedding dress 1989" — it was a popular look back then, just saying . . .

Man, I thought that was the prettiest dress! (insert wide-eyed emoji here, haha) Really glad styles have changed! 

I share that memory (1) b/c it's funny to me and (2) b/c meeting my husband and becoming a wife is something I'd dreamed about for a long time, but in my mind, it was always going to happen in my early 20s . . . then mid to late 20s . . . then, surely, okay, my early 30s? . . . okay, mid to late 30s?? 

But this part of my story wasn't able or purposed for my time, but it did happen and was purposed at the right time. I originally shared mine and Mark's story (below) on our wedding site a little more than a year ago. With celebrating our first anniversary this month, I thought it would be fun to post it here too — to reflect, to remember, and I hope too, to encourage your heart to hold fast in faith for whatever it is you're dreaming of.

One of my all-time favorite pictures of us, spring 2016 in Point Clear

So I'm going to skip back now to last fall, to where I'd began sharing our story on our wedding site and add an updated end to where we are now. Thanks for being here and for caring about our lives :) 

STEPPING BACK IN TIME . . . SEPTEMBER 2016

I was leaving my new small group recently, and one of the girls wished me "congratulations" on mine and Mark's upcoming marriage. I thanked her and almost absent-mindedly added something I'd said before, "It's been a long time coming." But for whatever reason, I didn't. Instead, I just left it at thank you. 

And as I took those next few steps to reach my car and get in, I thought to myself, that no, it's not really been a long time coming.

Not really.

I mean, yes, in the way we think of a time to be married and all the expectations centering around that younger 20-something/early 30-something typical time of life to be married—when I look at it through those lenses, then yes. Let me be the first to say as someone past even her late 30s, it does feel like a long time coming (but, may I add, worth the wait!). 

But as I processed that thought just a second longer, (and I do mean about a literal second longer), in my spirit I heard, "no; it's not too long . . . it's right on time." Which made me think a few more seconds on it as I drove away.

And this "right on time" timetable of course, is not ours. The timetable I try so hard to remember, but too many times I lose sight of, is the same one that, I would daresay, would help each of us to have more peace and keep better perspectives of the things we're waiting on and hoping for in life, especially those things don't seem to happen "fast enough" . . . that timetable is our Father God's. 

After church, Easter 2016

HOW WE STARTED

And included on that perfect timetable of His was . . . my first encounter with Mark at a new church that I found myself visiting in the fall of 2014 . . . those first sparks that began to fly a few months after we met . . . our first emails back and forth late spring of 2015 which led to him asking for my number — and the giddiness and excitement I felt at his boldness to ask (!)

Spring 2016, the day before we got engaged at Disney!

Also on that timetable . . . our first date that followed a few weeks later, and the many phone calls before that date which gave us a great chance to just get to know each other from a distance since he was working out of town.

We continued to date all that summer and got to know each other, and some of our favorite times were the ones spent outdoors talking, whether sitting at a fire pit or on the rocks along the Cahaba, stretched out in an eno at the park, or just walking around the neighborhood.

A few years ago, I had been deeply hurt in a previous relationship, so the slow progression to get to know each other brought healing to my heart and showed me the kind of man Mark was. I appreciated his patience and the way he respected my heart. God knew I needed that, and in time, I realized what I had in front of me was the real deal. 

(Isn't he so cute??)

So back to that timetable, there was the first picture I posted of us on social media in the fall of 2015 (above — Roll Tide!!) . . . that same day, by the way, was also the day I realized that I truly loved him. And then shortly after that time, was the realization I had after he left my apartment one night of, "Oh my goodness, God. I think he's it. This is really going to happen, huh?!?" . . . and the happy tears that followed. 

. . . In May 2016, there was the sweetest and most magical engagement that Mark planned for months to happen during the fireworks at Disney World, one of my all-time favorite places, b/c he's so thoughtful like that . . .

In front of Cinderella's Castle shortly after we were engaged!

. . . then came July, the month for picking out of the dress I'd dreamed of for as long as I can remember (and it just happened to be placed on SALE just ONE day before!!!) with my mom, MeeMaw, and dearest friends all present to be a part of (next two pics).

. . . Also getting the date on the calendar in one of the dreamiest little venues around town in the best month ever — October(!).

The pavilion at Aldridge Gardens, where the reception was

 . . . We set time aside on a football Saturday to assemble invitations with family and friends in anticipation of what was to come . . . 

(Mark wouldn't look at the camera, so BFF and bridesmaid Rianna already helping out!)

And finally, we got to say "I do," and began a new chapter of life that day that neither of us had ever walked down before, but have the honor and joy of walking down together now, through the ups and downs alike . . .

All of those things.

It was all on time. 

Not early or late. And never really fully in our control. We made decisions, yes, but God turns hearts and opens eyes, and that's what He did for us . . . when the time—in His time—was right.

Sometimes, as well-intentioned as we are, I think we miss that—trusting in His timing; trusting that He really does have good plans and purposes for our lives. I think for some of us (myself included!), there can be a temptation to rush ourselves or maybe those we love, into these covenant relationships before we're really ready because we want "to see them married off and happy," or because "this is how old my mom was when she got married," or "all my friends are getting married," or because "we want grandkids," etc.

While those things are valid ideas, I think they're off focus from what really matters. And as one who had wanted marriage and not had it for so long, believe me, I've had a lot of time to think about this.

His plans vs. my plans

I've come to realize that life in general is best when we're more concerned about working out His plans for our lives, than working out our plans for our lives. Our view is so limited. His is eternal. For most of my life, His plans for me included living as a single—and those were mostly, really good days—days full of life and adventure and fun and friends!

To be sure, some days were hard, and some days my heart really hurt at being alone. Some days I questioned His plans, and even felt forgotten. When I look back though, I can see His hand at work in so many ways, not just in my life and how He grew my heart and relationship with Him, but in the lives of many He put both directly and indirectly in my path during that season, who were impacted for His good.

It helps me know there was purpose in the waiting.

Plans for Mark and me now include marriage in this season. We're the same people we were before, we're just doing life together now. Some days are pretty easy, and some days are kinda hard (kinda like those single days!). But I really believe because we waited for each other and really wanted the Lord’s will for our lives and marriage, in all our days there is peace. And I wouldn't trade that for anything.

At the end of the day, I believe everything leading up to our meeting each other happened for both of us as it should have—the celebrations and highs as well as the trials and deep lows. It all has value, and the lessons we learned have made us into exactly who we are for each other today and for the world around us that God has called us to minister into.

It is all good, and it's all on time.

"And we know that for those who love God, all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose." —Romans 8:28